So Alone

I’ve been watching the new show This Is Us, and I really feel for the character Kate. The wanting to be skinny is a constant battle over delicious terrible food options. 

What REALLY gets me though is the part where if you want it, you have to do it. Nobody can do it for you. The person at your job doesn’t give a f that you’re trying to be healthy. Watching your significant other eat yummy things is terrible and just torture.

I wish there was a pen pal system or something where you can make a friend so you’re in it together. 

Are there really groups like in the show where people can get together to talk and maybe make a friend?



My New Healthy Kick

Over the last 2 weeks I’ve decided to try something that I try once in awhile to see if it will help me lose weight. I was pretty set to do it but knew it would be a challenge again, because it always is. I decided….to drink water.

My water drinking is very limited. During the weekdays I maybe have 2 small cups. I do drink tea but someone told me that wasn’t the same. Also, I do drink vodka with seltzer so I thought that counted as well…but I was told no. 

This all started when my partner recently asked me how much I weighed and wanted to know why I wouldn’t get on the scale so they could see. I just said it was none of their business, but they convinced me to do it- in a weeks time. So I decided that I was going to run and exercise and pound water. I have a 32oz. water bottle and a 32 oz cup for home. I also downloaded the plant nanny app (check it out, it’s kinda cool).

I was pounding water at work (and gagging). Why doesn’t it have a taste? Why do we need so much of it? Anyways, I had pee coming out of my ears. It was like twice an hour I was peeing for a straight 15 minutes. 

The second day I felt better, it became a little easier and I didn’t gag as much. I had run the night before and even went for a walk that morning before work. When I got home I decided I was going to step on the scale to see where I was at. I stripped down to my birthday suit and stepped on it. I had GAINED 20 pounds. 20 FREAKING POUNDS! At this point I’m fuckin sweating. I declared I’m never drinking water again and took a shower and went to watch tv. 

A short while after I was settled in bed my partner comes to tell me the scale is broke lol. So I’m still drinking water, and I’m actually ok with it…..for now.

Wish me luck people.


The Metamorphosis 

Well well well, I have begun a new workout program. I know, no surprise there. It’s the Metamorphosis by Tracy Anderson, specifically the omnicentric program. For those of you who don’t know, that means when you gain weight you do it all over and get round like a ball. I often lovingly refer to myself as Short Round, like the Indiana Jones sidekick. 

I have been so tired of doing these workout programs created by men, and figured one created by a woman would be more considerate of how I move. How I move means when I do these programs I’m not flying around like a maniac with my boobs trying to run in the opposite direction.

So fast forward and I completed the first week, it seems to be low impact but definitely challenging which was exactly what I was looking for. Also one of the nice features of the program is that I can opt not to listen to the background music and I can just opt to hear her voice. The terrible techno music played during all workout videos kill me and I usually mute them and then at some point fall out of sync. 

Also, I’m super proud of myself because this is my longest workout streak in 7 months due to some of life’s complications, but anyways-yay me!

I’ll post an update on how it’s going in a few weeks.


The Big Fat Freeze

You ever go on Facebook and click on those links to random crap like “Mama June undergoes plastic surgery, see the results”? No? Well, I did. And actually the link I clicked was something just like that. They were talking about how she underwent some shit called CoolSculpting. Honestly, I think it was just a way to advertise CoolScultping. So here I am reading about it-and they didn’t show the results btw!, and I’m like so entranced in what the hell this CoolSculpting is. 

I won’t keep you in suspense here, based on my research doctors put cold whatever in certain places and leave it on for awhile. Supposedly it’s supposed to kill brown fat cells and then over time (2 weeks ish) you see some results. ­čśĆ

So, I was like “well how much is this damn sculpting!?”…… the answer is roughly a couple thousand bucks. What do I look like, Rockefeller!? I don’t have it.     

 So my next move was to google at home machines. The more and more I looked the more I seen that people are just putting ice packs in one of those weight loss belts! Wonderful! Ice packs are a couple bucks and I have like 5 of those belts. It was on like Donkey Kong. 

So two nights later I got comfy in my muumuu and took one of the huge ass ice packs that came in the HelloFresh box and shoved it in a pillow case. Then I layed down and put it on my tummy. 

At first it was just cold, but then my skin started to prickle and it kinda hurt like a bitch.  

I made it through the 30 minutes and so far I’ve done it 2 more times. I’m not seeing results yet but who knows. Thought I would just share my weight loss antic of the week with y’all. Somebody help me.

(Photos tumblr)