This Ain’t Real Life

On Thursdays just like most of America, I tune into Shondaland. If you also watch but aren’t caught up, click away. NOW!

I’m so mad at Shonda right now. How can she pick the redhead for the grant!? Life doesn’t work this way, it goes by seniority, skill, past history…this is the bitch that killed our beloved Derek! And she’s also a transfer, they don’t know her! I would’ve been ok with anyone else, really. 

On another note, how long is Bailey going to emasculate her fine ass husband. I feel like she doesn’t do anything to build him up, and he bends over backwards for her. If she can’t be nice, maybe she should give him to someone else 😈.

Who watched and what do you think?

-A

Butt Cheek Relief

A few months ago I went to the hospital for an emergency, and once I got back into a room they gave me a hospital gown to put on. So as I’m stripping and finally made it down to my undies, my partner looks at me in disbelief and exclaims “What are thooosee, sweatpants underwear!?”.

Now I’ll admit that they were a bit on the…comfy size. They were gray, thick and big, boyfriend cut undies. Sometimes I like to get them a size bigger so they’re protective but not trying to make an ass sandwich. Fast forward and I put the gown on, to my horror…the back doesn’t close over my ass. I’m walking to get some tests done and my sweatpants undies are on full display. They finally brought me another to cover my butt, but I’m sure people peeped what was going on. 

After that I decided I was going to go back to cute form fitting undies, but since then I’ve had some pretty annoying wedgies. I feel like my butt attempts to eat my undies. I miss my other ones. 

-A

How to Begin Your Weekend

Guys, my sister doesn’t follow our posting schedule and it makes me want to donkey kick her. But anyways I wanted to do a step-by-step guide on how to start your weekend.

Step 1-Find a Clean Glass 

Step 2- Add frozen sliced peaches 
Step 3-Add Liquor  

Step 4-Juice Time!  

Step 5-Seltzer for that pop! 
Step 6-take a sip and exclaim “yaaaassssssss” as loudly as possible.

Your welcome

-A 

  

First Comes Marriage, Then Comes Love?

Tv is a crazy crazy thing. Recently I’ve become obsessed with the show Married at First Sight. It’s a show where three marriages are arranged. The couples actually meet at the altar. I love it, I love the idea of it. I know the history behind it and all that jazz, but in a time where everyone is so vain… I think this is an interesting experiment. 
Just think, today we have shit like match.com and tinder where people try to look as appealing as possible just for someone to send them a wink. Women are now courted on Facebook…and it usually starts with “hey sexy” or “I seen your picture and just had to message you”. It’s weird.  

Shit, before I go on-I will be summarizing what happened this season, so if you intend on watching or are behind…go click on one of our other posts 🙂

Now this season the three couples were Neil and Sam, Vanessa and Tres, and Ashley and David.  

Here’s my quick synopsis on these couples.

Neil and Sam- They are such different people, she is loud and raw and he is quiet and kind of weird. It started out rough with her saying stuff like he isn’t manly enough (to his face) and he was meanly sarcastic. Throughout it all though they both were really trying to be friends and be open to the experiment. I was scared for them and I felt for them. At the end I felt they grew and changed so much, for the better. They were my fav couple this season. 

Vanessa and Tres- Ok so Tres is so damn fine. He is sweet and good looking and nice and good looking and caring and good looking. Lol ok, but seriously I felt immediately that they had the strongest connection and that they both jumped into their roles as the hubster and wifey. Vanessa though is exactly what you envision when you think sensitive woman. She is easily offended and she just shuts down. I was super frustrated with them and wanted to jump in, push her out and marry him my damn self. 

Ashley and David-😑. I have never seen someone so cold towards anyone in life. Ashley was just mean, though to her credit, she did say she wasn’t attracted to him. But what can you expect, she isn’t picking the man, and it just wasn’t going to be Brad Pitt. Overall I thought David was a pretty good looking man. Not my type, but he wasn’t Quasimodo. For some perspective on her bitchiness-if his hand accidentally touched her elbow- I’m saying elbow because it’s the most non-sexual part of the body ever- she would grimace. Evil, just plain evil. And as evil as she was, he was super super nice. He was trying and really wanted it to work, he wanted to be her friend at the very least, but because he wasn’t Antonio Banderas she wasn’t even open to being friends. 

I won’t tell you who decided to stay and who left, but it’s a great show and just go watch it.

-A

(Photos tumblr)

Jonesing For SAMCRO

Guys, I’m struggling with an addiction and I’m reaching out to you all in hopes that someone can guide me to make the right decisions. Obviously I can’t right now.
It all started about a week ago. I just finished Quantico on Hulu and I was desperate to try a new show. I started Blackish (it was good, but nothing I could sink my teeth in), attempted to watch Gilmore Girls (snore fest), and even tried Jane the Virgin ( I couldn’t get past the first 5 minutes).

  
I decided to start the show everyone I know has been talking about, Sons of Anarchy. I have for the longest time refused to watch this show because of the violence, sex, and drugs. I’m a prude. 

I watched an episode of it previously, but it was just too intense. And then I remember my sisters rule. You MUST watch 3 epsiodes of a series before you can accurately judge it.

So, I decided to spend 3 hours watching SOA to see if it was a show for me. 

I spent majority of that 3 hours gasping, biting my nails, and at the end craving more. I was hooked! 

  
Since then I have been nonstop trying to sneak in some Samcro, it’s almost like hes my side boo. Any extra second I get I run up to my room and try to even catch 5 minutes to see what’s going to happen next. The character development is amazing and it excites me even more that I have 7 seasons to binge through.

  
When I watch a series I become all about it. My personality begins to change, I talk about the characters like I actually know them, and in my dreams I become part of the story line. A already told me not to get too attached because everyone dies. Which I’m glad she spoiled it a little bit because I go through a mini mourning session when my favorite characters die off.

By the way I’m still mad at Shonda for all the death she has caused on Grey’s Anatomy. 

All this leads me to my serious problem…Tiny Children. I should be studying the disease process of children right now for school, but my honey boo Samcro wants all of my attention.

A just sent me a text saying, “Give yourself small rewards in between. Study for an hour, take a 15 minute break”. 

I love enablers. 

-M

3 Episode Rule

I have this rule IF I start a new show, and I say IF because I have way too many shows I’m watching… Anyways IF I start a new show, my rule is to give it 3 episodes before I make my decision to watch or not watch.

So recently on Netflix they’ve been suggesting my Wet Hot American Summer, so I said wtf, why not. The first episode was…. weird. Adults… 40 year old adults playing teenage counsellors, asshole campers, sexual innuendos out the hooha. Not really my cup of tea to be honest, also- I feel like I’ve watched something like this before. But regardless, I have my rule.

 So on to the next episode where a kid shit his pants and a girl got her period. I understand that both are a part of life, but do I want to watch a child shit himself in a field for entertainment? No, no I don’t.  The period scene was something out of this world. The young girl ran to the bathroom followed by counsellors who talked to her outside the stall trying to direct her where to put the tampon in. It was pretty uncomfortable. But when the girl came out and she was now being played by another 40 year old, I laughed hysterically. It was worth the awkwardness. 

Overall after the third episode, I won’t be continuing. But it was nice to get a good laugh in.

-A

(Photos tumblr)

#OscarsSoDull

So, last night I watched the Oscars. I started from the beginning at 8:30 and made it all the way until 9:45 until I just couldn’t do it anymore. I am a huge movie person, love love love movies…but holy shit it was boring. 

Don’t get me wrong, the opening monologue was very interesting and I’m glad I watched that part. I was curious as to how Chris Rock was going to address the lack of diversity among the nominees. I think that it was great that he brought in a lot of jokes but I feel he left it hanging a bit. On the flip side I guess you can only talk about that stuff so much before people start to get uncomfortable, but I felt a little let down. This was his opportunity to be serious and be the representative. But he was the comedian.

Anyways when Stacey Dash was called to the stage I gasped out loud.

 
 And then cackled like a hyena.

But other than that I was just not into it, made it to 9:45 and then stopped. It’s just so boring, so unrelatable. These fancy people in their fancy gowns… I commend everyone for their creativity and being able to be in the spotlight and making amazing movies. But the how-to/who-did-it just clearly isn’t for me.

-A

(Photos tumblr)