For the longest time now I’ve gone back and forth on my beliefs about abortion. My mind tells me that it’s a women’s body and her choice while my heart is desperate to save the baby.
As a woman desperately wanting a baby, one day, it’s hard for me to see people giving up that life. Except, I remember when I was at a different point in my life and the idea of having a baby was scary. I was barely able to take care, feed, or provide shelter for myself so how would I have been able to do that for a baby?
When I say I’ve been on both sides of the fence, I’m not kidding. I spent my teenage years working for a family planning center that did numerous abortions daily. I was taught on the topic and was able to provide guidance for my pregnant peers or those just curious. I strongly believed in a woman having a choice and knowing the options that were available to her. I marched in parades, shouted to the world, and created speeches regarding the women’s rights. I was passionate on protecting my fellow ladies.
Then one day I went to New York City and went to see Bodies: The Exhibition. It was beautiful statues, pictures, and models of the human body. Then in a corner was small models of a growing human fetus. I couldn’t believe the size, the delicateness, the beauty of the human baby growing. It wasn’t just a fetus anymore to me, it was a little baby that had small fingers, little eyes, and maybe one day a person that might change the world.
I was confused with what I believed and what I felt.
Years later this confusion continued until I came to Christ. I felt the conviction and a strong need to protect these growing babies. Although I desperately wanted my fellow women to have a choice I really wanted to give these babies a chance to grow, to live, to make their own choices one day. I went to pro-life dinners, got involved in pro-life discussions, and refused to do panel discussions with my previous job that provided abortions. I flipped my beliefs and although I was still confused to the “right” way, it felt right at the time.
Lots of time went on and more people around me had abortions. My feelings shifted once again to sitting on the fence. I desperately wanted to save the babies while desperately wanting to respect the choices of my fellow sex. How do you pick?
I got into a huge disagreement with a friend about the situation. He was strongly against abortions, believed that those who had one deserved punishment, and had no pity for the women that suffered death from tragic back alley procedures, and believed the babies had more of a right then the women nurturing and growing them. I believed that although I personally wouldn’t have an abortion because it wasn’t right for me, I didn’t want to take that choice away from someone else. The debate became heated and he kept trying to push me into saying abortion was wrong. Wrong for everyone, wrong in the eyes of God, simply wrong, and should be outlawed.
I still couldn’t pick a firm black and white answer. The matter is simply grey to me. I feel so mixed about it that I couldn’t and wouldn’t be able to make a law or firm decision on it for anyone else. I could only make that decision as what was right for me.
Currently in Northern Ireland they’re talking about this choice. It is illegal to have an abortion there, but for those that are wealthy enough are able to travel to England to have this procedure. Is this fair? Is this right?
It leads back to my original thoughts. Save the mother or save the baby? What do you all think?