Revenge of the Mocha Macchiato Lady

Okay ya’ll I must’ve flipped my hair too hard when the lady was screaming out my coffee business or perhaps she read my last post. Either way the screaming Mocha Macchiato Lady has had her revenge. 

 It is my goal for my husband to never think I poop or pass gas. He believes I do, since it’s a human trait, but I tell him that I’m a beautiful baby unicorn that doesn’t have the capability to make something so ugly. He often rolls his eyes, smiles, and continues to play his video games while I continue to push my propaganda. 

I tend to try to poo as often as possible in public places to avoid being caught at home. I would rather avoid the eyes of strangers, that I will never see again, as they judge me for my poop particles that are actively floating into their respiratory tract than deny the floating poo that of course didn’t completely flush at home and now my honey happens to use the toilet after me and sees this long mass of digested materials taking a swim in our expensive city water. 😩

So I believe the screaming Macchaito lady must’ve sensed my pooping insecurity and added that full milk I politely asked her not to. FYI I’m lactose intolerant. I guess she didn’t appreciate my multiple eye rolling and crazy eyes. 

Well, minutes later after drinking my (disgustingly bitter) sip sip I had to go use the restroom. I decided I should probably expedite the turtle that was leaking out of me before I got onto my next flight. I completed my business, went to flush the toilet, and just my luck…the toilet wouldn’t flush 😰

I tried again, and again, and again. Instead of flushing, my brown turtle friend would pretend to swim down the tunnel of doom and just pop right back up to say hello! Okay, now I’m thinking the Crazy Macchaito Lady must be in cahoots with maintence. 

I gave up trying to flush the toilet because at the 5th flush it just becomes embarrassing. I stuck my head out of the stall to make sure no one was headed my way and bolted to the sink to wash my hands and escape the bathroom before anyone noticed the friend I left behind. 

To make matters worse I went back to sit in my original seat, now taken up by some of our silver haired citizens, and was forced to sit by a gang of little children. πŸ˜‘ These little angels πŸ‘Ίwere probably practicing to be the next WWE Divas because they were drop kicking each other as I silently sat there hoping I wouldn’t be getting a Superman Punch or a John Cena Attitude Adjustment.

Do you think the Crazy Macchiatto Lady enforced these little minions too? 

Needless to say next time I’ll be going to Starbucks πŸ‘πŸ½πŸ™ŒπŸ½β˜•οΈπŸ˜

If you enjoyed it…like, comment, follow and let me know! 

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