I read a blog post earlier this week called “6 Reasons My Husband and I Probably Won’t Make Your Event, and Why We Don’t Want You to Take it Personal…” by Dj’N’Devin and lets just say I took it personal.
In the blog this woman lists reasons why she won’t hang out with her friends such as she’s married, has children, no baby sitter, they’re too tired, yadee ya yahh. You know that same ol’ song all your “friends” sing when they forget how to be a real friend.
It reminded me of that episode of Sex and the City (season 6, episode 83 for all you fanatics) where Carrie’s shoes gets stolen from a party. When she brings up the situation to the host, the host offers to replace them, but then makes a big deal of how much they cost Carrie. The woman pretty much tells Carrie she would never spend that much money on shoes now that she has a child. Carrie then thinks of all the times she’s spent money on this woman for weddings, showers, baby’s birthday presents and so on. She sees that she actually spent a lot of money on this “friend” and feels slighted that this woman had the nerve to be upset when she asked her to replace her shoes.
Listen, I get that all you moms out there are super busy trying to be superwoman and keeping it all together. But, do you remember that one friend that held your hair when you were puking in that shady bar? That girl you called in the middle of the night crying because your husband just didn’t understand you? And, that one friend that has attended all your children’s events and dealt with being hit in the head with some plastic toy because he/she was “sleepy”?
You may have some really legit reasons why you can’t attend, and speaking from all the child-free women out there, we get it. We honestly do. We all have times when we’re stretched just a bit too thin and need a timeout from others. I’m not talking about those sweet mommies. I’m talking about you Professional Flakes. Please please please don’t expect us, the child-free women, to to be there to babysit, pick up those late night calls, hang out for “mommy’s night out”, or anything else if you’re not willing to be there for us too.
See, I’m the type of friend that is willing to hang out with your baby and I’m sure your real friends would be willing too. I’ll take a couple hits to the head, witness some tantrums, and see your baby bounce of wall if that means I get to hang out with you. So it’s a POOR excuse and pretty sad when you use your baby as a reason to not do something.
Bottom line, to have a friend you must be a friend. Communication is key to any and all relationships. Talk to us and let us know your struggle, but please don’t be hostile in our choice to be child free and make us feel insignificant. We give you all the props in the world for being a great mommy, but we will take it personal if you aren’t there to support us too.