The Big Fat Freeze

You ever go on Facebook and click on those links to random crap like “Mama June undergoes plastic surgery, see the results”? No? Well, I did. And actually the link I clicked was something just like that. They were talking about how she underwent some shit called CoolSculpting. Honestly, I think it was just a way to advertise CoolScultping. So here I am reading about it-and they didn’t show the results btw!, and I’m like so entranced in what the hell this CoolSculpting is. 

I won’t keep you in suspense here, based on my research doctors put cold whatever in certain places and leave it on for awhile. Supposedly it’s supposed to kill brown fat cells and then over time (2 weeks ish) you see some results. 😏

  
So, I was like “well how much is this damn sculpting!?”…… the answer is roughly a couple thousand bucks. What do I look like, Rockefeller!? I don’t have it.     

 So my next move was to google at home machines. The more and more I looked the more I seen that people are just putting ice packs in one of those weight loss belts! Wonderful! Ice packs are a couple bucks and I have like 5 of those belts. It was on like Donkey Kong. 

So two nights later I got comfy in my muumuu and took one of the huge ass ice packs that came in the HelloFresh box and shoved it in a pillow case. Then I layed down and put it on my tummy. 

At first it was just cold, but then my skin started to prickle and it kinda hurt like a bitch.  

I made it through the 30 minutes and so far I’ve done it 2 more times. I’m not seeing results yet but who knows. Thought I would just share my weight loss antic of the week with y’all. Somebody help me.

-A
(Photos tumblr)

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