Tearing Up My Five Year Plan!

I’m back, rested, and ready to start spilling all the latest juice of my life. When I last left you, I received my acceptance letter to nursing school, my honey came back from Germany, and I was working on fixing and loving me.

Well, if you’re wondering, I am in my second semester of nursing school. I love it and at the same time I consider quitting at least once a week. My honey and I are still married, but our stay in the Army may be cut short, but more to follow on that in future posts. Andddd finally, I’m still working on me. It’s interesting reading posts from last year and comparing my life now to them. I still struggle with worrying about everything, but I feel more at peace with my body and who I am. I’ve heard that as a woman ages she becomes more confident in who she is and I would have to agree.

I’m in a “transition phase” in my life where pretty much EVERYTHING is up in the air and I’m walking on water towards God. I love this one song called Oceans (Where Feet May Fail) by Hillsong United and it perfectly describes my life right now. Have you ever been lost in the woods? You don’t know which way to turn because everything looks the same, you won’t turn around because you don’t want to go where you’ve just been, and you can feel your heart pounding and rising in your throat every time you have to make a decision whether to turn left or right. As a Girl Scout, I would look for moss on a tree or use my compass to find my way. I like to think of myself as a Girl Scout of life. I look for signs from God that I’m headed in the right direction. As I find a sign I feel some relief, but I still don’t know the way out. I can choose to panic, that I don’t have the map, or I can trust in God and enjoy the scenery.

I’ve always been the girl with a plan A, B, C, and just in case a D. I find comfort in planning and knowing where I’m going. I’m strategic. However, in the midst of this new chaos I’m in, I’m learning to take comfort, not in my plans, but my God.


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