On a Soap Box – Secret Desires

Every night before I go to sleep I spend some time reading the Bible and reflecting on my day. The first five mintues usually consist of me asking for God’s forgiveness for some of the cuss words I may have let slip earlier that day. The other time is spent praying for family, friends, people I don’t like, my future, my past, and my desires.
The fastest way for me to feel unstable is when I feel like my desires in life are not coming to life. If you ask a professional what their 5 year goal is they will spit out a whole list of titles they want to achieve or things they want to own. They wont tell you the intimate desires of their heart that they  just share with their significant other or maybe no one at all.
Desires can be such blessings if they are handed to God and allowed to be nurtured by Him while you sit back, rely on, and be confident that God has your back. At times it’s not that easy though. We could go years at a time without seeing our desires actually come about and we slowly begin to lose faith that God is listening. Are you there God? Do you love me? Did I do something wrong?
There becomes a transition of relying on God to relying on yourself to achieve your intimate desire. You want it so bad that you do everything you know you shouldn’t just to achieve it. In the past I wanted to be loved so bad I would stay with a guy, even though he was horrible for me, because I trusted on myself to achieve my intimate desire to be loved. I wish I would have realized that it was  something only God could bring forth for me. It would have saved me a lot of heart ache. It’s not easy to wait for God to bring you into your shining moment, but it’s always worth it.
I challenge you to reflect back to a time when you tried to achieve your own intimate desire and it back fired on you. There’s no need to feel ashamed of  your past or even your current situation because it’s never too late to let God in.
Psalm 37:4,5
“Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He will give you the desires and secret petitions of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord (roll and repose each care of your load on Him); trust (lean on, rely on, and be confident) also in Him and He will bring it to pass.”
The more you move around and panic while in quick sand the faster you sink. The same could be said for a hard moment in your life. Taking a few minutes out of every day to just be still and breathe gives me the recharge I need to go into the next day.
-M
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