“I wish I knew what I know now, when I was younger”

Hello Friends! It’s me, M. I’m alive!

I’ve been fine these past weeks, but for some reason I just couldn’t get myself to write. I had brilliant ideas, things that made me mad, tons of things to say, but I just couldn’t get myself to do it. Has that ever happened to you? Sometimes I just want to keep me to me. I’m selfish.

I’m back at school, had an awesome visit with A, and just got accepted into Nursing school. Tons of fabulous things are going on in my life. But, I think the most important thing that is going on in my life is my personal development. When I last spoke to you all, I was a worry wart, and overly concerned with everything and everyone in my life. I can’t lie to you, I’m still a worry wart, but now I know when to just breathe and let things go.

There’s something in me that is desperate to fix things. When I see things that are out of place I like to find it’s proper home. Don’t leave me alone too long in a messy produce section at Walmart. My favorite thing to fix is people. Real recognizes real and so I would like to think those that were once broke can see the broken. I used to have the bad habit of fixing those that didn’t want to be fixed and of course, as you could guess, it didn’t end well. During those times I let my heart cloud my judgement.

During this time away from you all I have gotten a handle on my bad habit and have learned to let things be. As a child I practiced the art of Kung-Fu and the basic principle was to work with the energy around you so that you wouldn’t exert yourself. Your power is stronger when you allow it to flow. I’m relearning this principle. I have spent so much time and effort over tons of little things instead of putting that energy into moving mountains. It’s funny how you’re taught something as a youth, but you don’t understand it until you have the wisdom behind it. Kind of like the saying, “I wish I knew what I know now, when I was younger.”

Here I am. Ready to start the next chapter with you all. Thanks for being patient.

-M

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